


Risk

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M, Romance, episode-related, hurt-comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-20
Updated: 2005-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-01 07:40:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/353876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark confronts Lex about his actions in Yavannauk's "One Night in Metropolis". Also spoilery for Bound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Risk

## Risk

by SkaterBoy

<http://www.livejournal.com/~edgecity>

* * *

The following was inspired by Yavannauk's One Night in Metropolis (which can be found here: <http://www.livejournal.com/users/yavannauk/137769.html>), as written for Nerodi. It's the first story I've completed in a long time, but as soon as I read her fic, I just had to write this. I hope you all like it, and Yavanna? Thank you for being such an inspiration _g_

Title: Risk  
Author: SkaterBoy  
Category: angst, drama, first time, hurt-comfort, romance, episode-related Spoilers: Slumber, Bound  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: Clark/Lex  
Summary: Clark confronts Lex after the last scene in Yavannauk's One Night in Metropolis. _Author's Note_: I'm not saying what that scene is because it's spoilery for both fics and everyone should read Yavanna's fic first as it is a delicious fic, and directly precedes this one. Disclaimers: The characters aren't mine. Sorry. 

* * *

**RISK**

"You son of a _bitch_." 

Lex's eyes lingered on the screen of his laptop even as he turned his head to Clark, and then his eyes followed, calm and expressionless. That was decidedly _not_ the response Clark wanted, when he was here to confront Lex, seething so hard his shoulders were heaving from it, his blood heating and burning straight to angry eyes. 

"It's nice to see you too, Clark," Lex said mildly, and Clark realized that Lex knew exactly why he was here. What was more, Lex _wanted_ him to be here. He'd manipulated Clark to react the way he wanted, just like he'd manipulated Lana, and they'd both bowed to his whims like a couple of mindless sheep. "It doesn't sound like you're happy to see me, though." 

Clark inhaled deeply through widened nostrils. "How could you do that to her? I thought - I thought you weren't going to do that any more. And God, Lex! Why did it have to be Lana?" 

Lex didn't seem at all upset by Clark's accusations. In fact, he seemed rather perplexed. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about it." 

So that was it. Lex had made his conquest, and then, like some serial killer who needed a reminder of his kill, wanted Clark to spell it out for him in sordid detail. He wanted to know that Clark exactly what had happened, and he wanted to watch Clark blush through the humiliation of telling Lex what he knew. 

Clark Kent didn't blush anymore. He hadn't since two summers ago. "I saw the earrings, Lex. The ones you gave Lana after you fucked her and tossed her aside?" Clark was seething again, and found some victory, albeit a minor one, in the surprise that showed briefly on Lex's face when he used the crude language. It emboldened Clark enough to continue. "And don't tell me you didn't remember, or you didn't know what you were doing. It was _Lana_. She's not like all the others." 

"Only to those who know her intimately," Lex countered, his sharp gaze daring Clark to admit that he did not actually know Lana intimately. Clark wavered momentarily. Unfortunately, that told Lex exactly what he needed to know, and Clark's heart sank into his stomach. 

"Like you," he mumbled. He was still angry, but he didn't have the strength to resume the interrogation. Lex had used Lana, just like he'd used all those other women. Lex didn't care. Lex didn't care about anyone besides himself. Clark was wasting his time and energy being indignant with Lex. It wouldn't change a damned thing. "I should go." 

"Clark." Apparently he'd said something to get Lex's attention. He tried not to care; tried not to look up as Lex moved to stand in front of him. "What is it that upsets you about this?" 

Lex was undertaking a clinical tone, but something in his voice made Clark's heart beat a little faster. "You used her." 

Lex nodded slowly. When he spoke again, his voice was resigned. "I'm sorry if I hurt her, Clark. I know how much you care about her." Lex returned to his desk. 

Clark swallowed hard. Was that regret in Lex's voice? Dashed hope? Was it just Clark's foolish crush saying that maybe Lex had done all this to get Clark's attention, to get Clark to admit that he wanted Lex? 

He would never know. He would never know because he would never ask. And just as Clark was starting to resign himself to this fate, Lex spoke again. "I talked to Lana on the phone a half hour ago." Clark froze and felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. "She said she'd just seen you at the Talon and wanted to know if you were okay." Time stood still as Clark turned to look at Lex, who was studying him intently. "How did you get to Metropolis so quickly?" Just as Clark started to panic, the corner of Lex's mouth turned up in a smirk. "Clark. You didn't steal my helicopter this time, did you?" 

Clark let out a relieved laugh, even though he had nothing to be relieved about. Shit. Lex knew. Lex _knew_ and he didn't care. Clark was grinning so hard he didn't bother to berate himself for not taking the time to consider that Lex might talk to someone from Smallville before he got there. "Sorry, Lex. It was just... there for the taking." 

"Yes." Lex looked distracted, his eyes focusing in on some far-off place Clark couldn't see, and Clark wondered if Lex was thinking about Lana. Had she been there, all along, for the taking? "That's funny, because the LuthorCorp helicopter has been here in Metropolis the whole time." 

For a split second Clark's heart sped up, and then his face relaxed into a smile. Both of them knew Clark hadn't stolen the helicopter. Lex was just playing with him. The way he'd played with Lana? Clark shook his head. "I don't get it, Lex." He was so confused. Was this good or bad? Was Lex good or bad? Did Lex know, or didn't he, and what did it mean? Was Lex still investigating him? What did Lex want from him? "What is this all about?" 

Clark expected Lex to deny the question, but not before he realized that he'd have to explain again. Shit... but he could do this. He just had to figure out if Lex was an ally or an enemy. And with Lex, that could be a difficult thing to figure out. 

Lex didn't exactly deny the question. Instead, he repeated his own question. "How did you get here so quickly, Clark?" His voice was gentle and kind and smooth, and it made Clark want to tell him everything. Not that he hadn't wanted to before... but what if this was just another manipulation? 

What if all of Lex's manipulations had led up to this moment? What if all Lex wanted to know was the truth about Clark? 

Well, if that was the case, Clark told himself, what mattered was why Lex wanted to know. What he would do with the information, and whether he would finally answer Clark's questions. 

He could kill Lex if Lex misused the information. Lex didn't know everything about him. If he turned out to be an enemy, Clark could protect himself. He didn't want it to come to that, but that was how badly he wanted to tell Lex his secret. 

He'd thought about it so many times. Weighed the risks against the benefits. Was it worth risking the chance that Lex would become an enemy for the chance that Lex would become his confidant in something so important? 

Lex could lie. Lex could manipulate. Lex could use people. And for some reason, Clark wanted to show him that there was more to life than that. That someone could care about him, confide in him, and trust him. 

Lex had never had that trust. Not from his friends, not from his father. Maybe he sabotaged his relationships because he feared he'd be betrayed in the end. 

Clark knew all the psychobabble he was pondering was mostly wishful thinking. He wanted to convince himself that it would be okay to tell Lex the truth, even though he knew it wouldn't, even though he'd been taught to hold his secrets deep inside himself all his life. 

He wanted it badly enough. And Lex wanted it badly enough to investigate him, to use Lana for him. It was twisted, it was wrong, but it was the only way Lex knew. 

_You can't save everyone, Son_. His father's voice echoed in his mind. 

Clark ignored it. 

"I ran." 

Lex didn't smile. He didn't laugh. His expression was no longer completely flat; it was serious, it was considerate. Clark let out a breath, his heart pounding in his chest as he realized that it wasn't over. It would never be over. No matter how much he wanted Lex, no matter how much Lex gave him in return, he would always wonder if Lex would betray him. 

He told himself he'd always wondered that anyway. He told himself Lex would have figured it out on his own. 

He felt like he'd made the biggest mistake of his life anyway. He didn't trust Lex. He would never trust Lex. But he would never stop wanting to trust Lex, either. This was big, bigger than both of them. 

"Adrenaline?" Lex's eyes glittered in a dare, one last out for Clark to fall back on the lie, to make it into a joke again. But Clark had already made his bed. Now, he would lie in it. And not lie. 

"No. I can run really fast." Clark licked his lips. "But you knew that." 

Lex's body was taut with what Clark hoped was an attempt to contain his reaction. If he could get a reaction out of Lex, any reaction, it would be a victory. 

"Yes, I did. But I never thought I would hear it from your lips." Lex's voice softened on the last two words, and Clark's eyes widened. Had he been right? Did Lex want the same thing he wanted? "I'm sorry." 

Clark frowned. "For what?" 

Lex looked down, and his voice became distant. "For everything. I'm sorry." Lex shook his head. Then he shoved back in his chair. "You're right. You should probably go now." 

"What?" Some of the previous anger returned and Clark zipped in front of Lex, surprised to find that Lex was trembling when he got there. Clark didn't back down. It wasn't what either of them wanted. "I answered your question and now you're _dismissing_ me before you can answer mine?" 

Lex looked up slowly, his eyes haunted, his skin drained of color. Clark knew he was lying even before he spoke. "I don't remember the question." 

"The hell you don't, Lex." Clark reached out, only to pull back when Lex flinched. What was going on? This wasn't how the power dynamic was supposed to be. "I asked what this was all about." 

"What this," Lex asked, and Clark shook his head in disbelief. Lex wasn't at all the person in front of him. 

"You and Lana. The earrings. Getting me to come here." 

"What makes you think I slept with Lana to get you here?" 

"Come off it, Lex." Clark didn't abort his attempt to touch Lex this time. Lex's shoulder quivered under Clark's hand, and Clark wondered if Lex was thinking about how badly Clark could hurt him. After all, if he knew how fast Clark was, he probably knew how strong he was too. He stared at Lex, waiting until Lex met his eyes. "Tell me I'm wrong." 

Lex bowed his head. "I don't deserve this." 

Clark unintentionally tightened his grip, pulling back immediately when he saw Lex wince. "Deserve what?" 

"You," Lex snapped. Clark blinked. "You're supposed to hate me. You're supposed to lie to me. Why the hell aren't you lying to me?" 

Clark's mouth dropped open. Lex had gone through all this manipulation hoping to get Clark here, and when it actually happened, he didn't believe it. He didn't believe Clark was willing to give him a second chance. Clark took a steadying breath, and replied to Lex in a firm tone. "Why the hell didn't you just talk to me?" 

Lex lifted his head. He looked shocked that Clark was still standing in front of him. "I didn't think you would listen." 

"Lex." Clark sighed, wondering where his own cynicism had disappeared to. Slowly, he raised a hesitant hand to Lex's face, stroking Lex's cheek with the back of his fingers. "All you ever had to do was say something." 

Regret shone in Lex's eyes. Clark could see resistance battling with incredulity until Lex finally turned his face into Clark's hand. He'd been right, Clark thought. It had all been about Lex's fear of being betrayed, of not being loved, something he'd learned from his father. The only way Lex knew to get what he wanted was to twist and manipulate those around him. He didn't understand that not everyone was like Lionel, and he didn't understand that anyone could actually care about him. 

Clark tossed aside every notion he had of right and wrong, leaned forward, and pressed his lips to Lex's forehead. "We have four years to make up for," he whispered, grateful when Lex did nothing more than nod. He didn't want Lex to fall into his arms like a lovesick teenager, nor did he want Lex to argue with him. He just wanted Lex to accept that there could be something between them, and that Clark was willing to give it a chance. Even after everything that had happened. 

"She isn't like all the others, Clark." The confession was muffled against Clark's shoulder. "She's an intelligent and passionate young woman, and she deserves someone like you." 

Clark felt sorry for Lex in that moment, but he refused to let it go. "So do you, Lex." Clark tilted Lex's chin up with his thumb and forefinger, stroking along Lex's jaw. "You just didn't know it." 

Lex's mouth didn't move under his, but it felt right. It felt right when Lex looked into Clark's eyes and the realization of what was happening visibly sunk in. When Lex kissed him back, it was like a challenge, daring Clark to pull away, to betray him. But Clark didn't. He slid his hand around the back of Lex's neck, both of them aware of how much damage Clark could do if he wanted to - or even if he didn't. It was a relief to see no fear in Lex's eyes, only wonder. Hope. Concession when Lex finally opened his mouth under Clark's. 

Clark slid his hand down Lex's side and around to the small of Lex's back. Lex was already hard. Clark closed his eyes, moaning softly against Lex's lips. The last time he'd felt someone's erection other than his own, he'd been high on red Kryptonite in a nightclub just ten blocks from Lex's penthouse. It was something he missed far too much, and, he discovered, it was even better when Lex was the one he could feel. 

"Lex," Clark murmured, and watched Lex's eyelids flutter. "I'm not going to send you diamond earrings after this." 

Lex blinked in incomprehension before his face broke out into a grin, one that quickly changed into a smirk. Now that Lex had what he wanted, he clearly intended to show that he was in control of the situation once again. He intended to restore the power dynamic to its proper hierarchy. The only difference was that now, Clark was an equal. There was no hierarchy. 

"You better not." Lex chuckled. "Diamond cufflinks would be more appropriate." 

Clark sighed, reaching around to stroke Lex's cheek again. He still didn't understand. He still didn't believe. "I'm not going to send you any tokens of affection, Lex." Disappointed dulled Lex's eyes until Clark continued. "This is not going to be a one-time thing. It's not going to be an accident, or an incident, or a one-night stand. I'm not going to stand by and watch you sleep with other people." Clark's resolution remained firm. "Do you get it now?" 

"I think I do," Lex said stiffly. Clark bit back a curse. Lex didn't get it. 

"Then you better make sure this is what you really want. I'm not going to forget about you, and I won't let you throw me away when you're done with me." He stared steadily at Lex and hardened his voice. "Get it?" 

"I get it, Clark. No diamond earrings." Lex pulled back enough to meet Clark's gaze. "No cufflinks, no parting gifts. No parting." Lex looked like he still didn't completely believe it, but Clark could tell he was trying. "You strike one hell of a hard bargain, Kent." 

"What can I say, I'm a romantic." Clark grinned when Lex barked out a laugh. Then his grin softened into a smile, and he took Lex's hand. He struggled with the knowledge that he was considering having sex with Lex so soon after Lex had been with Lana, but he allowed himself to have a moment of doubt. After all, he and Lex had four years to make up for. Four years that had been leading up to this, and besides, Clark would have a reason to be grateful to Lana later. He realized that the same outcome would have occured had the woman been Chloe or his own mother - Clark shuddered at the thought but he knew it was always possible. Forcing the thought out of his mind, he pulled Lex close again. "I hope you have some lube around here." 

Lex smirked again, and everything seemed right. "Why don't you find out for yourself?" he retorted. 

After a moment of hesitation, Clark turned his head and narrowed his eyes, looking through the walls until he was focusing on the drawer in Lex's bedside table. "Second drawer, next to the box of condoms." He looked down at Lex. "You've only used one of them." 

Clark sucked in a breath when he felt Lex grow harder against his thigh. "Good guess." 

"Not a guess," Clark confirmed, then turned and entered the hallway leading to Lex's bedroom. "Are you coming or not?" 

Lex didn't respond to what could have been an innuendo, nor did he hurry. He took his time, walking confidently along the hall until he stood in the doorway. Clark looked up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, the lube and condoms already out of the drawer and on the pillow. Clark started unbuttoning his shirt, but Lex interrupted. "Let me do that for you." 

Lex came to kneel in front of him, opening Clark's shirt one button at a time. It reminded Clark of the times Lex had helped him with a bowtie. Clark smiled at the memory just as Lex glanced up. Their eyes met. Clark shivered a little at the simplicity of Lex's smile, something so rare and so beautiful. None of his encounters with men had been like this. He had a feeling none of Lex's had been, either. 

Two years ago, Clark wouldn't have allowed it to move this quickly. He might not have allowed it to happen at all. As much as he wanted Lex, he hadn't been able to reconcile that with how wrong he'd been taught it was, the risk to the secret of his heredity as important as his sexuality. A lot had changed in two years. Clark had changed, and Lex had changed. He could only hope that after this, it would change both of them for the better. 

"Are you looking forward to starting college?" 

Lex's choice of topic was unexpected when he was undressing Clark, peeling the shirt from Clark's shoulders and arms, but Clark realized Lex was just trying to insert some normalcy into the event. He and Lex were so different from other people, with issues that wouldn't be a factor in most relationships; their fathers, for one thing, one an eccentric, manipulative billionaire, one a simple, suspicious father, the third a megalomaniac from a planet that no longer existed. Lex's life consisted of board meetings and power struggles, while Clark's life consisted of farm chores and struggling to hide his secrets. Lex had secrets, too. This kind of small talk was as unusual as their friendship. 

"Yeah." Clark smiled, deciding on an approach Lex probably hadn't planned on. "I'm looking forward to being in the same city as you." 

Lex's smile reached his eyes. He reached up to run a hand through Clark's hair, then rose up and kissed him. Clark let himself be lowered to the bed, watching Lex's face the whole time. He could hardly believe this was happening. 

He wondered when the cufflinks would arrive. 

"If housing is a problem, you can always stay here with me." Clark's heart surged and he wondered how he'd ever doubted Lex. "I have enough guest rooms." Clark's heart fell again, but he nodded, reaching up to loosen Lex's tie. He would take as much as Lex was willing to give. "Clark... I've never slept with a man. Fucked, yes." Lex lowered his eyes to Clark's chest. "But I've never spent the night." 

Clark took a deep breath, his stomach a confused jumble. Lex was twisting him inside out with all these admissions, leaving him unsure what to think. He wanted so much to be with Lex, to help him, to be wanted by Lex. He wanted more than anything to know what Lex really wanted from him. Was he just another conquest, or did Lex really care about him? 

"It's okay." Clark forced a smile, tugging Lex's tie free from around his neck and tossing it to the floor. Lex's top button was already undone. "I wouldn't get any work done if I spent all my time sleeping with you." 

Lex's smile was only half there. "It's for the best, then." Despite sounding unsure of himself, Lex moved down Clark's body with total confidence. His fingers on the button of Clark's jeans was enough to distract Clark from the warring emotions in his heart. 

By the time he'd kicked off his shoes, Lex had Clark's jeans and boxers down around his ankles. Clark kicked those off too, feeling a little out of place with his socks still on and Lex still dressed when Lex climbed back up his body. 

Clark's head dropped back against the blanket. He'd had blowjobs before, but just Lex's breath on the head of his cock was more arousing than any orgasm he could remember. Lex made a small noise as his fingers explored Clark's foreskin. Clark tried to lift up and see, but then Lex's lips closed around his cock, and his head fell back again. 

He whimpered when Lex pulled away, then sighed in relief when he heard the rustle of tearing foil. In seconds, Lex was rolling the condom down over his cock, the sensations sending tremors up Clark's legs and down his spine. His balls tightened and drew up, and Clark swore when he bucked up into Lex's hand and came. 

Lex wasn't deterred. Clark didn't even have a chance to recover before Lex's mouth was hot and insistant, making him hard again even though he was still shaking from aftershocks. 

"Wait," he gasped out, trying to catch his breath. Lex actually stopped, and for a second he regretted it. But then he opened his eyes, and remembered why he'd spoken. "Let me fuck you." 

Lex smiled again, as if it were what he'd been waiting for all along. As Lex undressed and picked up the lube, Clark quickly changed into a new condom, then reached for Lex's hand. "Let me." This time when Lex smiled, Clark couldn't believe anything other than that the smile was for him, that this was exactly what Lex wanted. Thank God. 

Clark had to pause for a moment just to look at Lex lying on the bed, his cock curved hard and purple against his stomach. Clark had the feeling that not many people got to see this. Lex was beautiful. Lex was his. 

"It's been a while," Lex warned, his voice thick. Clark smiled warmly at Lex, then stretched out beside him, drizzling lube onto his fingers. Lex held his eyes determinedly as Clark prepared him, one finger finally slipping easily inside. The second one didn't move in so easily, but it made Lex's head drop back as Clark's had before. Clark reached up with his other hand to caress the side of Lex's face, and Lex opened his eyes, and smiled. 

"I'll be careful." He would. As careful with Lex's body as he intended to be with Lex's heart. Maybe he couldn't save everyone, but he could show Lex that he was loved. He could show Lex that there was more to life than distrust. "Ready?" 

When Lex nodded, Clark moved to kneel between Lex's legs, wrapping his hand around Lex's cock just to see how it felt. It felt as good as ever, even better knowing that it was Lex and not some one-night stand, knowing that they were both sober and both wanted it. Precome spurted out onto Clark's fingers, and he rubbed it back over the head of Lex's cock, fascinated when Lex's eyes rolled back in his head. 

Clark lifted Lex from the bed with both hands, moving his arms so Lex could drape his legs over Clark's shoulders. He'd never done it in this position before. He'd never wanted to, there had never been time. He was glad that if nothing else, this position was a first for him with Lex. There were so few opportunities left for them to have firsts together. 

He pressed his fingers to Lex's hole, making sure there was enough lube before he started to push inside with his cock. Lex was just as tight and hot as Clark had imagined, and the reality was even better than the fantasies. He couldn't see Lex's eyes, but he wondered if Lex was remembering the same thing he was; the time Lex had told him he needed to learn the difference between fantasy and reality. Sometimes, he thought, they could be one. 

Time had no meaning anymore when he started to thrust. He was inside Lex, watching Lex writhe against him, hearing Lex's gasps and moans in response to his thrusts. In no time, Clark had to drop his own head back against the cradle of Lex's crossed ankles, hips jerking forward as the tingling started again. Every point of contact drove ecstasy through his body to his cock. He was pounding into Lex, their groans getting louder, harmonious, until Lex squeezed around him and Clark didn't have to open his eyes to know Lex had come. Clark stilled and came with a breathy grunt, gripping Lex to him as white spots whirled in front of his eyes. 

"Clark." His name was delayed on Lex's lips, but Clark didn't care. Peeling his fingers from Lex's hips, Clark let Lex's legs slip from around his neck, then lowered himself to cover Lex's body with his. 

"Lex," he murmured. His hips were still moving, undulating slowly against Lex. They breathed heavily together, breath mingling as Clark struggled to coordinate the kiss. All of a sudden Lex's body spasmed, but only for a moment, and then he relaxed against Clark. Clark wasn't sure whether to be scared or not. 

"Clark," he said again, his voice thick, "sleep with me tonight." Lex was still breathing hard, his eyes still closed, as if he were afraid to look at Clark's face. 

Clark sighed with relief. "I will." They still had a lot to talk about, and trust issues to reconcile, but it was okay. Because this was a step in the right direction. 


End file.
